Poisoned!

Part of the reason I haven't written anything in a while is that I've been sick this week. Sick enough to go to the doctor, which is really saying something. As usual, they refused to hand over the antibiotics - you'd have thought I was rolling up in there looking for painkillers. Unfortunately for my sense of righteous indignation, I think they were right to refuse me the drugs, because I'm feeling much better. My relatively rapid recovery (alliteration!) has caused me to return to my original theory about how awful I felt, which is that I was (Da dum DUM!!!) poisoned.

Last Sunday, I tried this "miracle" laundry additive that supposedly makes your whites their whitest without bleach. How could I resist that siren song? If I had read the directions PRIOR to using the product, I would have noticed that the additive goes in first in plain old water, and soaks with the clothes for a while. Or, you could, let's say, dump in the detergent and then fling a bunch of the powder into the swirling water and not only inhale the powder itself, but whatever evil toxic fumes were released by its interaction with the detergent. Good times. My throat hurts again just thinking about it.

The lesson, boys and girls? Housework is incredibly dangerous and should not be attempted by amateurs like myself. And I don't want to hear a bunch of nonsense about how the lesson might have to do with reading directions on bottles of dangerous chemicals. Clearly, it was the cleaning itself that caused the problem.