Morning Court: A Short Play
Caution: the dialogue you are about to read actually happened this very morning, with the minor exception of the name of MJS's tormentor.
Court clerk, guiding lady into office of MJS at courthouse.
CC: Here she is! This is Miss Smith, she'll be able to help you.
MJS, reaching out hand to shake: Good morning, I'm Miss Smith.
Shifty Lady, ignoring hand, sounding incredulous: WHAT is your name?
MJS: Maureen Smith.
SL: Well they told me to come and talk to you.
MJS: And what is your name, please?
SL, narrowing eyes: Shifty Lady.
MJS: Okay, Ms. Lady, I see in the court file that you've filed an Answer with the Judge, so that's all you really had to do. You'll get a response from the judge before the end of the...
SL: So this isn't resolved?
MJS: No, ma'am. You see the judge reads what we've each submitted, and then he...
SL: What did YOU tell him?
MJS: Well, your answer just says that you don't have any money, and that isn't a legal defense. You haven't said you don't owe the money.
SL, without taking breath: Lissen, I'm 73 years old and I'm on Social Security and all this happened when I started my business and my husband burned up and I was in the burn ward with babies from Vietnam all the memories came back and I had a nervous breakdown. Look at this blister on my lip! Stress! I have shingles and chronic fatigue syndrome and my daughter told me you have to pack up that business and I'm too old to start now and I have an infection in my eye and I thought it was the shingles... (continues to talk)
MJS: (thinking to self, eye infection? I don't see an eye infection. But still, did she shake hands with me or not? Am I going to have some mysterious Vietnamese baby eyeball infection? No, that's right, there was no handshake. Any chance she's going to breathe so that I can sneak a word in?)
SL: ...and these blisters on my side.
MJS: Yes, ma'am, but unless you're saying you don't owe the money...
SL: Oh, I owe it.
MJS: Right, so that's what I'm trying to say. Whether or not they'll be able to collect the money is another thing, but they will get a judgment against you.
SL, gazing beadily at MJS: The other lawyer was NICE.
MJS: The...the other lawyer?
SL: Yes. He said he wouldn't even try to collect from me because I get the Social Security. So that's what the judge said, and he signed the paper, but I couldn't read the signature and I made about seven copies, but they're gone.
MJS, kicking self for not stopping for coffee before work: So...on this account? There was already a suit...or?
SL, now convinced that MJS is both less nice and less smart than Other Lawyer: No! Not on this account!
MJS: Yeah, okay, that isn't really part of this case, then.
SL: Well my bank they screwed up my checking account and I'm opening a new account, not that I should tell YOU that and that lawyer he took my $43, but then he gave it back and the bank they said we don't need to give you back that $254, but then my new bank they said...
MJS, rising from chair, opening office door: Uh-huh.
SL, following MJS to door: ...they reckon that my bank they shouldn't have done that because...
MJS, moving into hall: Uh-huh.
SL: ...I'm on the Social Security and I hope you never have to know the pain of shingles...
MJS, trying to arrange features into sympathetic expression: Uh-huh.
SL: ...so is this it? Are you gonna start messing up my bank account?
MJS: You should get a notice from the court this week about what the judge wants to do. Thanksforcominginbye! (closes office door)
And, scene.
Court clerk, guiding lady into office of MJS at courthouse.
CC: Here she is! This is Miss Smith, she'll be able to help you.
MJS, reaching out hand to shake: Good morning, I'm Miss Smith.
Shifty Lady, ignoring hand, sounding incredulous: WHAT is your name?
MJS: Maureen Smith.
SL: Well they told me to come and talk to you.
MJS: And what is your name, please?
SL, narrowing eyes: Shifty Lady.
MJS: Okay, Ms. Lady, I see in the court file that you've filed an Answer with the Judge, so that's all you really had to do. You'll get a response from the judge before the end of the...
SL: So this isn't resolved?
MJS: No, ma'am. You see the judge reads what we've each submitted, and then he...
SL: What did YOU tell him?
MJS: Well, your answer just says that you don't have any money, and that isn't a legal defense. You haven't said you don't owe the money.
SL, without taking breath: Lissen, I'm 73 years old and I'm on Social Security and all this happened when I started my business and my husband burned up and I was in the burn ward with babies from Vietnam all the memories came back and I had a nervous breakdown. Look at this blister on my lip! Stress! I have shingles and chronic fatigue syndrome and my daughter told me you have to pack up that business and I'm too old to start now and I have an infection in my eye and I thought it was the shingles... (continues to talk)
MJS: (thinking to self, eye infection? I don't see an eye infection. But still, did she shake hands with me or not? Am I going to have some mysterious Vietnamese baby eyeball infection? No, that's right, there was no handshake. Any chance she's going to breathe so that I can sneak a word in?)
SL: ...and these blisters on my side.
MJS: Yes, ma'am, but unless you're saying you don't owe the money...
SL: Oh, I owe it.
MJS: Right, so that's what I'm trying to say. Whether or not they'll be able to collect the money is another thing, but they will get a judgment against you.
SL, gazing beadily at MJS: The other lawyer was NICE.
MJS: The...the other lawyer?
SL: Yes. He said he wouldn't even try to collect from me because I get the Social Security. So that's what the judge said, and he signed the paper, but I couldn't read the signature and I made about seven copies, but they're gone.
MJS, kicking self for not stopping for coffee before work: So...on this account? There was already a suit...or?
SL, now convinced that MJS is both less nice and less smart than Other Lawyer: No! Not on this account!
MJS: Yeah, okay, that isn't really part of this case, then.
SL: Well my bank they screwed up my checking account and I'm opening a new account, not that I should tell YOU that and that lawyer he took my $43, but then he gave it back and the bank they said we don't need to give you back that $254, but then my new bank they said...
MJS, rising from chair, opening office door: Uh-huh.
SL, following MJS to door: ...they reckon that my bank they shouldn't have done that because...
MJS, moving into hall: Uh-huh.
SL: ...I'm on the Social Security and I hope you never have to know the pain of shingles...
MJS, trying to arrange features into sympathetic expression: Uh-huh.
SL: ...so is this it? Are you gonna start messing up my bank account?
MJS: You should get a notice from the court this week about what the judge wants to do. Thanksforcominginbye! (closes office door)
And, scene.
posted by Maureen at
11:57 AM
1 Comments:
So many unanswered questions. Did the business relate to her husband burning up? Does burnt up equal dead? Was she also a patient in the burn unit? What kind of memories did Vietnamese babies inspire that led to her nervous breakdown? What does she mean, Vietnamese babies - this is Colorado - Vietnamese babies are a bit thin on the ground. Oh, my head is spinning.
By
Maureen, at 12:20 PM
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