SHHHH!!

On Wednesday night, I go to Weight Watchers with my friend Allison. The lady at the front desk couldn't be any nicer, but she talks incredibly loud. Normally this is fine, because she is confined to the front, sharing harmless thoughts like, "I SWEAR WHEN I SAW THOSE CLOUDS I THOUGHT WE'D GET SOME RAIN, BUT I GUESS NOT!" This is not a problem, although it does cause me to shout back at her for reasons unknown even to me. I want her to feel comfortable about the yelling, so I imitate her behavior? I don't know.

This week, the WW was short-handed, which means Shouty was taking weights. I was fully across the room when I heard her tell someone, "SO YOU'RE DOWN 2 POUNDS!" I was transfixed. The entire room could hear every last word of what I consider to be a private moment on par with going to confession. ("ADULTERY, YOU SAY? WITH THE NEIGHBOR?")

I knew without a doubt that I was going to end up with her. And yes, I did. She proceeded to talk in great detail about my weight, my food consumption, etc at full volume. I tried whispering my responses in hopes of making her realize that we were standing six inches apart and could communicate effectively at very low volumes. Nothing doing, of course, but she could clearly hear me, so she's not yelling because she's hard of hearing. It is a mystery.