What'd I miss?

Much like Sheila E., I want to live the glamorous life. Naturally, that includes lying on the couch watching C-SPAN from time to time. Wooo! Par-tay!! I'm thinking I must have dozed off, Rip van Winkle style, though, because the other day the dynamic network was showing footage of John Edwards harassing bemused New Hampshire residents. Perhaps this is a rerun? That would be strange. No, wait, this is current. As I stared at the gleaming teeth, the freeze-dried hair, the man-of-the-people rolled up shirtsleeves, I was stunned. This is August, 2005. We just got finished rejecting this guy. Take a hint! How can we miss you if you won't go away?

And it isn't just Edwards, either. Evidently the good people of Iowa are also under attack from legions of poorly coiffed hopefuls from both parties. When did this happen? I know I joke about Christmas displays being in stores in September, but campaigning for an election three years in the future? For an instant-gratification society, this is totally baffling.

I love me some C-SPAN, though. The announcer guy who reads off the lineup makes Garrison Keillor sound like Flava Flav. I suspect many unplanned naps result from prolonged exposure to this fellow. How great would it be to have Flav acting as "hype man" for C-SPAN, though? Hell, Snoop is working with Lee Iacocca - anything is possible.