As Required By Law

I received an email today from Bob Internet, founder and president of the Internet, alerting me to my unfulfilled responsibility to write something about the new Star Wars installment. Apparently everyone with access to a computer has weighed in on this, so here it is. I would put Sith at a solid number 2 in the series, behind Empire. I completely agree with all the critics who have pointed out that the dialogue is terrible and that Lucas is terrified of directing actual humans. I would even agree that the script sounds like it was translated from another language by someone who has taken lots of classes in English, but has never lived in an English-speaking country. None of this matters to me at all.

I am going to this episode of Star Wars for the special effects, the battle scenes, and to see Darth Vader get strapped into his black suit. That's it. It delivered exactly what I wanted, and I enjoyed it immensely. The real problem is that today's critics were little kids when the first trilogy came out, and they have forgotten that those movies had terrible dialogue and wooden performances, too. (The exception being Harrison Ford, whose vast reserves of personal charm allowed him to get away with the terrible dialogue.) If those same critics went back and viewed the old movies with a totally fresh eye, they would have the exact same complaints they have about the new movies. Lucas hasn't changed, except to the extent that he has cooler toys at his disposal now.

At the end of the day, these flicks are meant to be enjoyed Eddie Izzard-style - with two-handed popcorn shoveling. If you sincerely believe that George Lucas signed up for or is equipped to handle the creation of Myth as Joseph Campbell would define the same, you've got the wrong guy. Go read some actual philosophy or mythology if that's what grabs you, but don't put the weight of those expectations on a sci-fi movie.