Dear Cyclists

Dear Mr. Bicycle Guy:

First, let me say, my hat is off to you for conserving gas, getting exercise, and preserving the environment by choosing your bike over a car. Second, your hat is also off, having flown quite impressively when I ran you over. You see, if you want to ride in the flow of traffic, you need to obey traffic signals like everyone else. I also don't recommend riding the wrong way down a one-way street. I don't look in that direction prior to crossing the street.

Some other tips: unless you and your companions are capable of pedaling at 40 mph, do not ride four abreast and shut down traffic. Darting into the street from between two parked cars is perhaps not a great idea.

Can you tell the students have moved back to Fort Fun? I really do support the bike people, because traffic is awful enough as it is. But don't give me the stink-eye when you take a sudden left turn in front of my car, and I have to slam the brakes to avoid you.

I'm extremely glad it's Friday, as I am apparently too cranky to be in public much longer. The lameness of this post is due in part to the fact that the really hilarious stuff happening today involves clients, so I can't discuss it. Y'all are missing out, though. Someday I will write a work of "fiction" and use all this material.