Arrested!
Horrifying afternoon. I was halfway out of sorts because I was going to a meeting after work, and was unclear about the purpose and location of the meeting. I had written out directions in an attempt to resolve one of the two issues, and was trying to follow them. Anyone who has ever driven in or around Boston understands that directions are frakkin useless. Even if Rand or McNally assure you in soothing tones that streets have names, go in a certain direction, allow you to use motorized vehicles, make turns, or even exist - you must not believe them.
So I had forgotten my own sensible advice and was thinking that concepts like "turn left" had any utility when I realized I was being tricked into going onto the Mass Pike. To prevent this, I went straight through an intersection instead of turning left. After I got through the intersection, I saw police lights, and immediately got to the right to enable the 5-0 to get after dangerous criminals. You guys. I was the dangerous criminal.
Except I kept trying to get out of the way, until the cop was convinced I was on the run! Finally stopped all the way, and the cop came to the window and asked their favorite question: Do you know why I pulled you over? Like everyone else in the history of ever, I said no. Do you suppose anyone ever says, "okay, you got me! I was running a polar bear smuggling ring! Clever ol' copper!" No - but in my defense I was genuinely puzzled. He told me I should have turned because I was in a "turning lane". So I gave him my documents and waved my useless directions at him. He went back to the cruiser.
Forever.
I watched the seasons change, my hair turn gray, my teeth fall out, teleporters populate the streetcorners, and aliens take over our planet.
Still the policeman was hanging out in his cruiser.
Meanwhile, I was blocking one lane of traffic and for part of this eternity a bus was blocking the other lane. I could actually feel the hatred from the other drivers. Eventually he came back with a warning and a firm suggestion that I obtain a Massachusetts drivers license. By the time he left I was beyond flustered.
So I nearly made an illegal left turn. In front of the cop. Still attempting to follow bloody useless directions. Not a smart girl, obviously. Settled for making a series of semi-legal u-turns to manage the left turn. Which took me in the completely wrong direction. Of course.
Hopelessly lost and increasingly convinced I should give up on the meeting, I pulled off into a parking lot and had a serious chat with myself. I eventually listened to the sense I was talking and got myself to the meeting, but I was seriously traumatized. Hate driving.
So I had forgotten my own sensible advice and was thinking that concepts like "turn left" had any utility when I realized I was being tricked into going onto the Mass Pike. To prevent this, I went straight through an intersection instead of turning left. After I got through the intersection, I saw police lights, and immediately got to the right to enable the 5-0 to get after dangerous criminals. You guys. I was the dangerous criminal.
Except I kept trying to get out of the way, until the cop was convinced I was on the run! Finally stopped all the way, and the cop came to the window and asked their favorite question: Do you know why I pulled you over? Like everyone else in the history of ever, I said no. Do you suppose anyone ever says, "okay, you got me! I was running a polar bear smuggling ring! Clever ol' copper!" No - but in my defense I was genuinely puzzled. He told me I should have turned because I was in a "turning lane". So I gave him my documents and waved my useless directions at him. He went back to the cruiser.
Forever.
I watched the seasons change, my hair turn gray, my teeth fall out, teleporters populate the streetcorners, and aliens take over our planet.
Still the policeman was hanging out in his cruiser.
Meanwhile, I was blocking one lane of traffic and for part of this eternity a bus was blocking the other lane. I could actually feel the hatred from the other drivers. Eventually he came back with a warning and a firm suggestion that I obtain a Massachusetts drivers license. By the time he left I was beyond flustered.
So I nearly made an illegal left turn. In front of the cop. Still attempting to follow bloody useless directions. Not a smart girl, obviously. Settled for making a series of semi-legal u-turns to manage the left turn. Which took me in the completely wrong direction. Of course.
Hopelessly lost and increasingly convinced I should give up on the meeting, I pulled off into a parking lot and had a serious chat with myself. I eventually listened to the sense I was talking and got myself to the meeting, but I was seriously traumatized. Hate driving.
posted by Maureen at
1:14 AM
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