He'll Know I'm Crazy
In the course of my family law work, I've had the opportunity to interact with many members of the mental health community. They provide services ranging from mediation to custody evaluations to counseling kids abandoned by parents who would rather use drugs than take care of them. In the course of this work, I met a therapist who seemed like the sort of guy I would like to know. After the case we were involved with concluded, he asked me out.
We met for lunch, which seemed like a safe date, with a clearly defined end-point. If I decided I didn't like him, I would call my secretary on my cell phone. She had been warned that there was a potential "emergency" which would necessitate my immediate return to the office.
Armed with a contingency plan, I settled in for lunch. We talked about the players in our most recent case. We talked about our practices. I asked (careful not to cross-examine) about his interests and his background. This led naturally to him asking me about myself and my personal history. I got nervous. Surely, as a mental health professional, he would quickly realize that I was (am) a lunatic.
At that moment, the date was over for me. I was now engaged in pitched battle. I was trying to give only answers that proved I was a normal person. I will allow for the possibility that this strategy resulted in my sounding crazier than ever. "So, your parents split up?" "Yes, but it's really okay. They should have done it sooner. Ha. Ha." "Why should they have divorced sooner?" "What? Oh, I don't know. Um, it's just that I support both of them. Equally. I want them to be happy. But I know it's not my responsibility to make them happy. So, you know, it's...everything's cool!" "Would you prefer not to discuss this?" "Nonono, nothing to discuss! Ha. Do you think we should get some wine? Now where did that waitress...Miss!" "Well, I don't really drink at noon, so..." "Ha, neither do I! Thanks, darlin'! (draining the glass) So, what were we talking about?"
You will be surprised to learn that there was no second date. Apparently, he somehow got the impression that I was an irrationally defensive drunk. I'm not sure why that posed such a problem, though. I've dated insane alcoholics lots of times, and it's always worked out great. Well, maybe great is overstating things.
To be honest, I would have lost all respect for him as a professional if he hadn't figured out that I was nuts.
We met for lunch, which seemed like a safe date, with a clearly defined end-point. If I decided I didn't like him, I would call my secretary on my cell phone. She had been warned that there was a potential "emergency" which would necessitate my immediate return to the office.
Armed with a contingency plan, I settled in for lunch. We talked about the players in our most recent case. We talked about our practices. I asked (careful not to cross-examine) about his interests and his background. This led naturally to him asking me about myself and my personal history. I got nervous. Surely, as a mental health professional, he would quickly realize that I was (am) a lunatic.
At that moment, the date was over for me. I was now engaged in pitched battle. I was trying to give only answers that proved I was a normal person. I will allow for the possibility that this strategy resulted in my sounding crazier than ever. "So, your parents split up?" "Yes, but it's really okay. They should have done it sooner. Ha. Ha." "Why should they have divorced sooner?" "What? Oh, I don't know. Um, it's just that I support both of them. Equally. I want them to be happy. But I know it's not my responsibility to make them happy. So, you know, it's...everything's cool!" "Would you prefer not to discuss this?" "Nonono, nothing to discuss! Ha. Do you think we should get some wine? Now where did that waitress...Miss!" "Well, I don't really drink at noon, so..." "Ha, neither do I! Thanks, darlin'! (draining the glass) So, what were we talking about?"
You will be surprised to learn that there was no second date. Apparently, he somehow got the impression that I was an irrationally defensive drunk. I'm not sure why that posed such a problem, though. I've dated insane alcoholics lots of times, and it's always worked out great. Well, maybe great is overstating things.
To be honest, I would have lost all respect for him as a professional if he hadn't figured out that I was nuts.
posted by Maureen at
2:51 PM
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