Reading the Signs
It is a sign you take too many court appointments when one of your homeless clients is arrested for assaulting another of your homeless clients.
It is a sign you're in court too often when the security guards send their greetings via your runner because they didn't see you that day.
It is a sign you are burnt out on family law when you're in a settlement conference, and you think, "My client's soon-to-be-ex-husband is a fox. Why is she leaving him?"
It is a sign you live in a red state when you pass two pickups trucks in succession and one has a bumper sticker reading, "If you ate today - Hug a Farmer!" and the next has a bumper sticker reading, "Eat Lamb : 10,000 Coyotes Can't Be Wrong!"
It is a sign you've become a frizzy-haired spinster when the cats post messages on your blog.
It is a sign you're a creature of habit when your mailman comments on the fact that since you weren't parked in your usual spot, he wasn't sure if you came home for lunch.
It is a sign your case is a dog when your key witness won't admit that he doesn't speak English, and insists on acting out everything he witnessed.
It is a sign you've lost touch with reality when you give serious thought to writing an angry letter to GQ for making their models look ridiculous in the photo spreads. While pondering this, you are personally wearing a Marine Corps T-shirt, Izod track pants, and bumblebee flip-flops.
It is a sign you're elderly when you pass a female student wearing giant blue pants, and oversize white oxford, and a necktie and you think, "Is she here for CSU or Clown College?" As if that's not bad enough, you drive on muttering, "Heh. Clown College. Heh heh."
It is a sign you are a laugh whore when you confront someone about a joke you made the day before and ask them why they didn't laugh more. You find their response : "What? I laughed!" to be unsatisfactory.
It is a sign your client is not 100% trustworthy when the judge asks her if she has any other cases pending and she replies, "No." The judge's clerk politely makes note of the two pending felony cases from another jurisdiction, of which you were previously unaware.
It is a sign you are in deep denial when you consider the act of reading Runner's World magazine a workout. See also, the sad realization that your most recent 5K was nearly three years ago.
Last, and most important, it is a sign that it's time to leave work when you're screwing around making lists at 4pm rather than doing anything productive. Later!
It is a sign you're in court too often when the security guards send their greetings via your runner because they didn't see you that day.
It is a sign you are burnt out on family law when you're in a settlement conference, and you think, "My client's soon-to-be-ex-husband is a fox. Why is she leaving him?"
It is a sign you live in a red state when you pass two pickups trucks in succession and one has a bumper sticker reading, "If you ate today - Hug a Farmer!" and the next has a bumper sticker reading, "Eat Lamb : 10,000 Coyotes Can't Be Wrong!"
It is a sign you've become a frizzy-haired spinster when the cats post messages on your blog.
It is a sign you're a creature of habit when your mailman comments on the fact that since you weren't parked in your usual spot, he wasn't sure if you came home for lunch.
It is a sign your case is a dog when your key witness won't admit that he doesn't speak English, and insists on acting out everything he witnessed.
It is a sign you've lost touch with reality when you give serious thought to writing an angry letter to GQ for making their models look ridiculous in the photo spreads. While pondering this, you are personally wearing a Marine Corps T-shirt, Izod track pants, and bumblebee flip-flops.
It is a sign you're elderly when you pass a female student wearing giant blue pants, and oversize white oxford, and a necktie and you think, "Is she here for CSU or Clown College?" As if that's not bad enough, you drive on muttering, "Heh. Clown College. Heh heh."
It is a sign you are a laugh whore when you confront someone about a joke you made the day before and ask them why they didn't laugh more. You find their response : "What? I laughed!" to be unsatisfactory.
It is a sign your client is not 100% trustworthy when the judge asks her if she has any other cases pending and she replies, "No." The judge's clerk politely makes note of the two pending felony cases from another jurisdiction, of which you were previously unaware.
It is a sign you are in deep denial when you consider the act of reading Runner's World magazine a workout. See also, the sad realization that your most recent 5K was nearly three years ago.
Last, and most important, it is a sign that it's time to leave work when you're screwing around making lists at 4pm rather than doing anything productive. Later!
posted by Maureen at
4:58 PM
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