Chin up, young person

I found out today that I am a Tiger in the Chinese zodiac, which beats the hell out of being a Goat in the lunar astrology system. Tigers are independent magnetic leaders, with great courage. Good for me, yeah? With the disclaimer that I do not believe that the year of your birth tells you anything about your personality, the little profile did make me think. Courage is a rare quality, and one I greatly value. The only things I deeply regret in my past were things I failed to do because I was afraid. I have become less afraid the older I've gotten, but those missed opportunities trouble me. I was more frightened of not knowing what would happen than knowing for sure that the status quo was not what I wanted.

On that note, there are two things I have come to believe in my life, and (even though they are probably cliches). The first is that you cannot be angry about not getting what you don't ask for, and the second is that the failure to make a choice is a choice. They are related, obviously, and both speak to taking ownership of your life and your choices. I have made some terrible mistakes, and I have done some things I am incredibly proud of, and those choices are all mine. Too often I waited for my life to happen, and took shelter in the idea that I didn't have any control over it. It is right and healthy to let the uncontrollable go, but the list of things entirely outside of our control is quite limited, really.

I'm not at all sure what lies ahead for me, or what I want my future to look like, and that's fine for now. I just hope that when the time for changes does come (sooner rather than later?), I will be strong enough to choose my life rather than falling into it.